Motherhood

Motherhood

14 September 2008

Last week my baby boy, Jude, made his appearance into the world, 10 days early. There is so much I could say about this miraculous new addition but what has amazed me most is the overwhelming love I feel for this little guy. I have a whole new respect for people who have lost a child.I know I'm biased but man he's so cute!

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Perspectives

Perspectives

19 August 2010

Last night I dreamed that I was in the middle of a shoot and needed to change my lens. When I leaned down to my camera bag, I saw that the fronts of all my lenses had been smashed and there were chunks of glass scattered in my bag. I hadn't seen what caused it, it just was and I couldn't understand what had happened. Surely I would have seen or heard something or someone cause that? But no, it just was. It didn't occur to me in the dream to cancel the shoot - I realised that I was going to get some very different images from the session.

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Seven Years

Seven Years

06 March 2017

Seven years have passed since our World was shattered. Seven years is a long time; a lot of days and moments and hours. People don't ask about Jude that often anymore - we are  busy and happy with the gorgeousness and mundanity of being parents to our two little girls and when people ask how many children I have I say: "Two girls."

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The last of the firsts

The last of the firsts

06 March 2011

It's been a year since we stepped into any parent's worst nightmare. A rare Saturday off that was meant to be spent with my family exploring our beautiful city turned into our own horror story as I found Jude dead in his cot. So unexpected, out of the blue. So final. 

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The long road

The long road

10 July 2010

So many well-meaning people have said to us in sympathy: 'Wow, this is a very, very, VERY long road you guys are on'.

To a newly-grieving person, these words are nothing short of terrifying - a day is torturous to get through and if that's only a small segment of this very long road, then how the hell do you manage to get through the rest of the journey without losing the will to live?

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Three

Three

07 September 2011

I place your baby sister to sleep, night after night in your cot, and think in disbelief that we did just the same thing with you 18 months ago.

 

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Three years

Three years

06 March 2013

When your world is ripped to pieces, you have got to keep moving. One foot in front of the other, just keep moving. It is way too painful to sit still, to ponder, to breathe.

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What the world gives

What the world gives

10 June 2010

'Today I will be unafraid. I will enjoy what is beautiful, and believe as I give to the world, so the world will give to me'

So many things have shifted in our New World. After reading this quote online the other day, I realised that a shift in my beliefs is one of the most fundamental changes that has taken place. This is a beautiful quote and one that I would have easily identified with in the past but now I know otherwise - the world does not always give you what your 'deserve'.

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